Yep, that about sums me up right now. Doesn’t help that I’m sick, too, but blah just seems to be the way I feel right now.
I’m not sure what it is…Yes, it’s the end of the semester. Yes, it’s the end of my very first real teaching semester (though I’ve taught, student taught, and took classes before so I’m used to being very “busy”.) But I don’t think either one of those are “it” (and “it” being why I feel blah).
My teaching is going well (in fact, I’ve had some of my best classes recently and can’t wait to share those with you all), my coaching is going well (though I still haven’t found my happy medium zone between former athlete and coach), and my grading is ready to go as we finish up the school year and head into finals. (And I even have my Christmas shopping done, ha! 🙂 )
Yet despite all of these great things going on, I’m still blah. And then it hit me tonight as I finished up my official NCTE recap: I need me time. I’m not talking about the me time where I’m going out and running sprints or getting a pedicure (though both are great examples of me time!). I’m talking about reading and writing for ME. I went back through some of my boxes (still stacked from the second move after the flood) and found some of my graduate work. From essays to poems, I realized how much I used to write…going back through my work made me realize the power of writing and reminded me of why I want my students to understand that they are active writers (and readers) in their lives too. I want them to know what that power is about.
I also sat in the middle of my floor and looked at the books around me (though not that many anymore sadly after yet again the flood). But the bottom line is that I need books in my life. I go through phases where I read a lot and then when I don’t read (aside from prepping for my classes). But phases doesn’t work for me. I need some composition studies, visual theory, YAL, Milton, hooks, and Barthes. I also need books like this, this, and this.
I need reading and writing for me to avoid this blah…I don’t know why I stopped. (And isn’t it ironic this is the same question I ask myself about my students?) I don’t know why it feels easier said than done. But I’m determined to make them a priority next semester…