Embarrassed. Disappointed. Yet, I realize I have to give myself a break and acknowledge that life happens. I never stopped writing, just stopped writing here. To be honest, I’m not sure why. I know in the past, I struggled with finding this space what I once found it to be, but I have always believed in the power of writing and reflecting. After all, reflection was my whole purpose! Through reflection is how I learn more about myself and who I am as a teacher.
Yet, what a semester. I started off focused and ready to go. It was going to be a great Fall. And it was, but a Fall full of tough times that ultimately made me realize while we may have an impact on the kids we teach, it’s their impact that is also everlasting.
Growing up, there were always bad things that happened to kids at my school. It was just sort of something we all go used to, sadly, I guess. I also have lived through a dear friend’s suicide and VT4.16 which was one of the worst experiences of my life. Yet what I and my school community experienced this fall was by far one of the hardest times that I as a person have experienced too: the death of a student. Again, my experiences with death have been crazy weird and not very normal. And I’m not saying death at any time is a good thing nor am I taking away from other’s experiences; I’m just trying to help you understand MY experiences.
Even sitting here writing this post is painful when I think about the Fall. This young man had an infectious smile and I miss his enthusiastic “What up, Ms. Beach?!?” so much every day. He reminded me that life is short and we have to make the most of it because we never know whose life we might impact.
I’m hoping to write at least one post per week here especially because I have TONS of ideas and awesome resources from colleagues on the web. It’s my resolution. However, I’m not going to beat myself up if I don’t because the reality is that I’m also reading/writing a LOT with my doc work (on top of teaching full-time). So I’ve decided that as long as I’m reflecting, somewhere, then that’s ok because ultimately, that’s what it’s all about in the end!
Wishing all a happy and healthy semester!